


Vanilla Icing {One-Shot}

by ProblematicProcrastinator



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Baking, Dirty Jokes, Domestic Fluff, Frosting, Icing, Innuendo, M/M, Rats, Sexual References, This could be considered non sexual foodplay if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 10:41:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18715402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProblematicProcrastinator/pseuds/ProblematicProcrastinator
Summary: Dan can’t keep his fingers out of the frosting they’re using to bake.(Alternative title: Innuendos, Wet Willies And Adults That Act Like Children.)





	Vanilla Icing {One-Shot}

"Get your dirty fingers out of there!" Phil howled as he snatched the metal bowl from his housemate. "That's not sanitary at all."

"And no-one knows sanitary like Philip Michael "Leaves-His-Socks-Everywhere" Lester." Dan retorted before sticking his two frosting-covered fingers into his mouth. A hum of delight came from him as he sucked contently on the gooey sticky treat.

Phil simply rolled his eyes, as he was used to Dan's sarcastic comments, and placed the bowl down on the counter, "Whatever. You're still gross."

Dan, with the two fingers still placed gently between his lips, looked over at Phil with an innocent gaze. He titled his head and hummed out, "Hmm?" He pulled his fingers out of his mouth to speak, "Me? Gross? Never."

Phil couldn't help but cringe at his friend. Dan's fingers were dribbling with saliva and light remains of moist frosting, which made a rather disgusting sight. It honestly reminded him of a familiar liquid he'd rather not see on his roommates lips and fingers. Phil became ever more nervous when he noticed Dan was slowly moving toward him, shifting his bottom off of the counter. A sly grin was appearing on his face as well. That was never a good sign.

"Dan? Dan, stop with that look!" Phil demanded as he instinctively took slow steps back. He furrowed his eyebrows at Dan, who didn't seemed to be phased by Phil's attempts to tell him what to do.

Dan quickly jumped off the counter and charged toward Phil. Phil let out a gasp of fear, as he wasn't really the type to scream at sudden jumps, and quickly began to run out of the kitchen. Slipping on the cold hard floor as he ran was inevitable though due to his cozy (and mismatched) socks.

"C'mon, Philly, you don't wanna be near your friend?! Now that's not very nice!"

"Nooo! Get away from me! You're disgusting!"

Dan let out a slightly maniacal laugh as he sped up his running speed. Running in the house, of course, was a rule that normally is applied without saying... Except in circumstances like this. The thought of breaking anything had faded away from their minds due to the fact that each of them currently only had one goal in mind.

Sadly, Phil reached the living room and made the not-so-bright mistake of climbing on the couch. He grabbed a throw pillow and covered his face. "Get away from me!" Phil squealed.

Dan plopped down next to him on the couch and exclaimed in a slightly memeish voice, "Aw~! Does Phil not want a wet willy?"

"Nooo! I said stop it!" Phil whined. He attempted to hit Dan with the pillow but all that did was give Dan an opening. Without any remorse or adult reasoning, he stuck one of his sticky wet fingers into Phil's ear.

Phil immediately yelped out in pure terror and jumped slightly. He flailed his arm in an attempt to smack Dan. Lucky for him the attempt was a success.

"Ow! Abuse!" Dan exclaimed as he removed his finger from Phil's ear. He wiped his hand off on his jeans. Due to the fact they were black it left a questionable looking stain. Dan chuckled at his own dirty mind and turned to Phil, "Hey, it looks like I just-"

"You b*stard! You need to learn to keep your sticky fingers out of my... Holes." Phil was attempting to rub his ear against the couch to get rid of the incredibly unpleasant feeling he had previously been through.

When Phil looked over at Dan his expression said it all.

Phil couldn't help but smile as he giggled out, "My ear holes, you perv."

"We should just make a video titled "Every AmazingPhil Innuendo Ever! 2009-2019!" Too bad we can't make a video that's over 247 hours long." Dan snorted.

"Oh shut up. You're such a moose sometimes."

"Your mums a moose."

Phil sat himself up and immediately changed the subject since he didn't have a comeback to such a God-like retort, "Weren't we supposed to be making a cake?"

Dan smiled and said, "Yeah you were going to let me lick the frosting bowl dry, remember?"

Phil didn't even respond to his friend's comment. He simply huffed and made he was back to the kitchen. He shook his head and muttered, "I can't believe you did that."

"I can't say I'm proud." Dan laughed as he followed Phil back so the two of them could finish up their dessert.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have a prompt, request, or just want to say “hi!” then here’s my writing Tumblr: www.starbursto.tumblr.com


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